Shocking photo of Oksana Testifying Against Mel

Photo: Oksana, without makeup, gives secret testimony


This exclusive surveillance photo, at left, was secretly snapped earlier today in court when Oksana Grigorieva provided shocking testimony against former lover, Mel Gibson.

Her explosively, and pungent, evidence had previously been leaked - in high definition video and surround sound - to CNN, Fox News, ABC, NBC, CBS, Al Jazeera, Oprah Winfrey and Perez Hilton. (Note: the leaked evidence had earlier been rejected by scandal monger Geraldo Rivera, who said: "This is so low, so disgusting that even I cannot go there, and that's saying something.")

However, Oksana's legal spokeswoman told TMZ, "Mr. Gibson persists in attempting to 'litigate' this matter in the media, and continues to launch false accusations against the mother of his child.

"Unlike Mr. Gibson, Ms. Grigorieva has not, and will not engage in this type of undignified banter in the press," she added, as the pong of her client's yellowish testimony drifted over the media conference.


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BP Caps Well, But New Spews and Dog Poos Cause Blues

BP has successfully capped their leaking Gulf well, but spewing continues at a frightening rate on a range of other fronts.

More than 100 dogs, mainly Chihuahuas, were found in a Philadelphia home. Eyewitnesses said the floors were covered in nearly two feet of animal feces.
An investigation into the home began a year ago when neighbors complained of an overwhelming stench. City officials have condemned the home and deemed it uninhabitable.

In an unrelated dog-spewing incident, Rhode Island animal-control officers recently investigated a possible "pet hording" on Phebe Street. When a second story door was opened, the officers witnessed "a waterfall of dachshunds and Chihuahuas spilling down the stairs." About 50 dogs, all but three of them of small breeds, were living in the single-family house. The depth of dog poop on Phebe Street was not released.

Meanwhile, pollsters say American voters are suffering from "Obama-spew". The President trails Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, Newt Gingrich, and is even tied with Sarah Palin. (It was not clear whether the President also trailed dachshunds and Chihuahuas.)

Palin-2-spew was being recorded in both Alaska and Hollywood, as First Mama Grizzly cub Bristol Palin announced her re-engagement to Levi Johnston. His claims to fame include impregnating teen-age Bristol and, after their ugly public split, posing for Playgirl magazine. As if this spew was not enough, rumors are circulating of a soon-to-be-announced reality TV show starring single teen mom Bristol and her Johnston.

Although vile, Palin-2-spew was not at press time considered a national emergency.

More worrying for the Obama Administration is a far more damaging "O-class" emergency - Oksana spew - which has choked the nation's airways and sewers with vile Melfluent for weeks, with no end to the spewage in sight.

Administration and BP officials are considering whether a second and third cap - similar to the 75-ton cap used successfully in the Gulf - could be placed over the mouths of Oksana and Mel Gibson. But most experts think their spew will renew, worse than the dog-poo-spew, Obama-spew and Palin-2-spew.

Ewwww.

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Oksana Leads Slimeball of the Year Race

We may have a photo-finish for Slimeball of the Year 2010, and what an amazing group of professional and amateur slimeballs have made it to the finals led by:

1) Oksana Grigorieva, 39, who has bedded, babied, and bushwhacked AlcoMel Gibson, all part of a strategical Soviet plan to send melmillions her way.

2) Aimee Sword, 36, Michigan mother of five-plus, who gave up her son at birth, tracked him down on Facebook when he was 14, and then repeatedly had sex with him.

3)Al Gore, seriously, is alleged to have "tried to stick his tongue down my throat" at a New Year's party, according to a female journalist. French kissing is not in itself slimeball. When attached to "Fat Algore, it is way slimy. Ew.

4) Tiger Woods, who cheated on his gorgeous wife and children with bimbos who all looked like this.

5)Jesse James, who would be even slimier than Tiger but, really, what do you expect from a man whose genes flow from this man.

6-10)Miley Cyrus dominates with five places in Slimeball of the Year's top 10, thanks to her strategic and relentless slimyness, including her lovely upskirt photo from the slimy Perez Hilton.

The "winner" of the 2010 Slimeball of the Year will be announced after your comments are tallied... Previous votes cast for Tiger and Jesse cannot be counted.


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