1) a mosque
2) the deficit
3) Michelle's shoes
4) Treasury notes
5) one Obamacare Bill
6) Lady Gaga's girly bits
7) WikiLeaks emails
8) missing BP oil
9) "Hillary in 2012" signs
10) dry rot
Click on 'comments' below and add your two cents!
Showing posts with label White House. Show all posts
Showing posts with label White House. Show all posts
Monday, August 16, 2010
Warning: What's Under the White House Tarp?
A tarp is covering the West Wing of the White House, prompting widespread speculation that it is hiding:
1) a mosque
2) the deficit
3) Michelle's shoes
4) Treasury notes
5) one Obamacare Bill
6) Lady Gaga's girly bits
7) WikiLeaks emails
8) missing BP oil
9) "Hillary in 2012" signs
10) dry rot
Click on 'comments' below and add your two cents!
1) a mosque
2) the deficit
3) Michelle's shoes
4) Treasury notes
5) one Obamacare Bill
6) Lady Gaga's girly bits
7) WikiLeaks emails
8) missing BP oil
9) "Hillary in 2012" signs
10) dry rot
Click on 'comments' below and add your two cents!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Lady Gaga 7-day Scandal Forecast - Doing Everything Slutty Everywhere
Hyperbolic megastar Lady Gaga had a lazy weekend, leading at Lollapalooza, pipping Usain Bolt at the tape in Stockholm, holing out ahead of Tiger at Bridgestone, saving mankind by repelling the solar tsunami and hatching baby owlettes live at the Owl Box.
"I so wanted to sunbathe with Michelle Obama in Spain and expose my vagina on WikiLeaks, but I just couldn't tear myself away from the baby owls. I was in an egg myself once, and I still love to cover my Lady Bits with feathers."
Gaga's 7-day media forecast includes:
- birthing Motorola's new Droid 2 cellphone live on CNN and GagaNet (Parental discretion advised).
- leading a "save the penguins" global enviro-event live on the massive ice chunk that has broken away from Greenland, at Gaga's request.
- headlining the live re-enactment of Chelsea and Marc Clinton's wedding.
- visiting Hannah Montana tryouts in 50 states to coach 5- to 7-year old girls on make-up, underwear and being true to their own tri-sexuality.
- being appointed the new CEO of HP, and immediately announcing a new corporate policy on silicone top-ups and sexual harassment of men, women and owls.
- shockingly quitting HP to accept the role as White House Chief Adviser on Economics ("I believe that being true to yourself will turn our nation's economy around - that and miles of latex and my uber virginity").
- chairing the Iranian Revolutionary Council and launching her new line of see-through nuclear gaga-burqas.
- saving thousands of fans trapped by floods in Pakistan, and releasing her new "Pash me in Paki" CD.
- hosting the Academy Awards, Emmies, Razzies, Lezzies, Super Bowl, World Series and Nobel Peace Prize events.
- single handedly preventing the Earth from falling off its axis and ending life as we know it.
- bringing Michael Jackson back from the dead.
"I hope my fans can forgive me for taking it easy this week. Birthing the owls was so emotional that I need to recharge, which is why the sun is having another solar tsu-gaga-nami in my vagina."
Click on 'comments' below and add your two cents!
"I so wanted to sunbathe with Michelle Obama in Spain and expose my vagina on WikiLeaks, but I just couldn't tear myself away from the baby owls. I was in an egg myself once, and I still love to cover my Lady Bits with feathers."
Gaga's 7-day media forecast includes:
- birthing Motorola's new Droid 2 cellphone live on CNN and GagaNet (Parental discretion advised).
- leading a "save the penguins" global enviro-event live on the massive ice chunk that has broken away from Greenland, at Gaga's request.
- headlining the live re-enactment of Chelsea and Marc Clinton's wedding.
- visiting Hannah Montana tryouts in 50 states to coach 5- to 7-year old girls on make-up, underwear and being true to their own tri-sexuality.
- being appointed the new CEO of HP, and immediately announcing a new corporate policy on silicone top-ups and sexual harassment of men, women and owls.
- shockingly quitting HP to accept the role as White House Chief Adviser on Economics ("I believe that being true to yourself will turn our nation's economy around - that and miles of latex and my uber virginity").
- chairing the Iranian Revolutionary Council and launching her new line of see-through nuclear gaga-burqas.
- saving thousands of fans trapped by floods in Pakistan, and releasing her new "Pash me in Paki" CD.
- hosting the Academy Awards, Emmies, Razzies, Lezzies, Super Bowl, World Series and Nobel Peace Prize events.
- single handedly preventing the Earth from falling off its axis and ending life as we know it.
- bringing Michael Jackson back from the dead.
"I hope my fans can forgive me for taking it easy this week. Birthing the owls was so emotional that I need to recharge, which is why the sun is having another solar tsu-gaga-nami in my vagina."
Click on 'comments' below and add your two cents!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Top Secret visit by Obama
President Obama made a top secret visit to hostile territory at the weekend, speaking with soldiers and government leaders, who were asked to pass through metal detectors before the meetings.
President Obama's visit to heavily armed Dallas, a hub of Red State anti-government activity, was meant to counter criticism that he was "holed up" in Washington and that his strategy of appeasement with Texas had failed.
"I want to send a strong message that the partnership between the United States and Texas is going to continue. We have already seen progress with respect to security around the airport. There was only limited gunfire when we landed; most from hostiles and only an insignificant amount from within Air Force One," the President said during his "on the ground update".
Texas Gov Rick Perry, sneaking away from Tea Party events in 17 Texas cities, met briefly with President Obama at the heavily fortified Cowboys Stadium. White House officials described the meeting as "productive and mainly positive" with "go-forward nuances" balanced with "the realities of needing medical attention".
Word leaked out that at least one cowboy boot was hurled at the President's head, shattering a teleprompter. This could not be confirmed, but it was noted that Gov Perry was seen leaving the meeting "with one side taller than the other and a big smile on his face."
After numerous holes in Air Force One were repaired, and a sticker saying "Secede One" was removed from the cockpit window, President Obama flew to the relative safety of Afghanistan.
President Obama's visit to heavily armed Dallas, a hub of Red State anti-government activity, was meant to counter criticism that he was "holed up" in Washington and that his strategy of appeasement with Texas had failed.
"I want to send a strong message that the partnership between the United States and Texas is going to continue. We have already seen progress with respect to security around the airport. There was only limited gunfire when we landed; most from hostiles and only an insignificant amount from within Air Force One," the President said during his "on the ground update".
Texas Gov Rick Perry, sneaking away from Tea Party events in 17 Texas cities, met briefly with President Obama at the heavily fortified Cowboys Stadium. White House officials described the meeting as "productive and mainly positive" with "go-forward nuances" balanced with "the realities of needing medical attention".
Word leaked out that at least one cowboy boot was hurled at the President's head, shattering a teleprompter. This could not be confirmed, but it was noted that Gov Perry was seen leaving the meeting "with one side taller than the other and a big smile on his face."
After numerous holes in Air Force One were repaired, and a sticker saying "Secede One" was removed from the cockpit window, President Obama flew to the relative safety of Afghanistan.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)