Thursday, June 10, 2010

Black Man or iMan in Black? Jobs Beats Obama

Barack Obama is a tall, thin, black man who controls our nukes. Steve Jobs is a tall, thin man in black who controls our iToys.

Obama is thin because the job is eating his liver. Jobs is thin because he kicked the hell out of pancreatic cancer and then got a new liver as well.

Why does the skinny, black man with the nukes wield less power than the skinny man in black with the iToys? Let's review a few case studies.

Issue: BP destroys the Gulf's economy.

: President Obama teleprompts hither and thither, eventually touches a wad of black goo on the beach and looks slightly miffed, then goes all Dirty Harry (lite) about "whose ass to kick."

: An Apple staff member says the iPad or iPhone or iAnything will ship 10 seconds late.

Action: Steve Jobs eats his liver, burns his home, and sells his wife and children into slavery. Oddly, all iToys are shipped on time.

: Those pesky Iranians keep developing their own nukes, thumbing their noses at the UN and the U.S.

Action: The UN has a really looooong meeting. President Obama gives a loooong speech and then goes to a concert, staying "involved and in charge" via his Blackberry. (Meanwhile, Israel is scrambling nuke-laden fighters toward Iran in 5, 4, 3...)

Issue: At least 114,000 i-Pad owners, including White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, have their information compromised, thanks to AT&T.

Obama action: He texts Rahm: "At least my Blackberry is secure. LOL."

Jobs action: AT&T becomes known as "A", as Steve Jobs rips its T&T to shreds with his teeth. Unsatisfied, he i-diverts Israeli jets to headquarters of the former AT&T, which now looks like downtown Baghdad, but with more holes and sand.


Being black, or wearing black, is not the deal. Being i-smarter, i-ballsier and eating the occasional liver is what power is all about.

Click on 'comments' below and add your two cents!


No comments: